Regarding My Blog Break

I have taken long breaks from blogging this past year or so. It wasn’t an intentional decision. Upon reflection, it’s been a difficult year and a half, and I think part of me felt like a hypocrite every time I logged on and saw the above picture of my family looking so happy and the reminder that we are made for joy -- the reality I was experiencing was so far from the truth I believed.

The years of graduate school took a toll on us, both financially and, more devastatingly, in terms of family life. I had unrealistic expectations that once my husband had graduated and was working in his new career, life would magically be transformed -- we would own a house again; Daddy would be around more -- and everything else would just fall into place. I think I was able to deal with everything at the time because I knew it would end once the degree was in hand. But the degree has been in hand for two years already. And my dear hubby just finished his third school year in the new job. And life is still hard. We had to buy a home I don't like. And my husband is just as busy, if not busier, trying to get things going with a brand new job and a brand new program. And now there is no magical end in sight.

Graduate school was a choice we made together -- a choice I don’t regret in the least. The choices on how to spend our time and money that came along with that choice sometimes didn’t feel like choices, but they were. And now trying to undo the damage sometimes feels harder than I can bear. I am constantly hearing a voice in my head screaming, “Why does everything have to be so hard!?!” Being intentional is hard. And it makes me tired. And there is so much work to be done. It’s easy to get discouraged.

But I have learned in this year and a half that being self-focused has got to be one of the most miserable of human experiences. It is good to turn inward and reflect, but I have been so caught up in the imperfections of my life, I have been unable to see the good in a constant pursuit of the better. I have become a master of self-pity and complaining. I have not been pleasant to live with. I have not been a good wife, a good mother, a good friend. I have forgotten to be intentionally grateful -- gratitude isn’t something that comes naturally for me -- even though I am fully convinced that the holy joy for which I long is born of gratitude, even though I know I have so much for which to be grateful.

I am more convinced than ever that we are where we are supposed to be. There are wonderful things happening at the University and here in the Diocese. It’s exciting to be a part of it. And we’re taking baby steps to move toward where we want to be as a family. And I have to be content with that. We've created a family mission statement and are trying (over and over and over again) to make decisions based on that mission. We’ve created a budget for the first time in years. And while it feels so hard sometimes to make a grocery list and bring my calculator with me to the store, there’s also something very freeing about knowing I can only spend so much on this or that and I now have a criteria by which I can say no. My hubby and I are slowly this summer trying to re-prioritize and get our family life back to where we want it. I think the older kids were left to their own devices so often when Dad was in school and Mom was trying to hold down everything else, that now we’re not quite sure how to just be together. And that is painful to see. But we're aware, and that is a good place to start.

I am resolved to start blogging more regularly again -- not because life is easier than it has been, but because there is joy in every day and this is a place for me to recognize it. I share it with you, my readers, but I am doing it for me. So that I can see the good and be grateful.

I recently ran across the third chapter in Lamentations. It captures beautifully where I’ve been and where my hope lies. And I share it with you. Have a blessed weekend!

Michelle

My life is deprived of peace,

I have forgotten what happiness is;

My enduring hope, I said,

has perished before the LORD.

The thought of my wretched homelessness

is wormwood and poison;

Remembering it over and over,

my soul is downcast.

But this I will call to mind;

therefore I will hope:

The LORD’s acts of mercy are not exhausted,

his compassion is not spent;

They are renewed each morning --

great is your faithfulness!

The LORD is my portion, I tell myself,

therefore I will hope in him.

Let us search and examine our ways,

and return to the LORD!

Let us lift up our hearts as well as our hands

toward God in heaven!

You drew near on the day I called you;

you said, “Do not fear!”

(Lamentations 3:17-24, 40-41, 57)

Thankful Thursday - Fathers

One of the things I have been profoundly aware of and grateful for since moving to the Diocese of Bismarck is how many good and faithful priests we have here. Today six more were added to their number. Deo gratias!

 

 photo courtesy of Bismarck Diocese

Today I also remember in a special way another father for whom I am grateful ... Happy Birthday, Daddy! Ad multos annos!

 

Wordless Wednesday - In My Garden

Merry Easter!

Happy Easter! 

So it's a little late ...

(like just about everything else around here lately).

But, hey, it is still the Easter season ...

Come to think of it, I never wished you a Merry Christmas! either.

 

And Christmas is more what it feels like around here. 

It has been cold and snowy for far too long. 

My vitamin D level needs a boost. 

Like major time in the sunshine. 

Everybody has more than a smidgen of spring fever. 

And everybody is ready for the school year to be done.

Not least of all, the teacher.

Last Tuesday, in an effort to defy Mother Nature, 

I made potato salad and boiled some brats in beer for grilling.

Then the weekend came. 

Bismarck ended up with a new one-day snowfall record of 17.3". 

And I decided, if you can't beat Mother Nature, join her.

Unable to get the van out of the driveway, 

we pulled The Princess to Mass Sunday morning in a sled. 

(The Baby must have a new blog name, don't you think? 

I'm not sure what it should be, 

but since she loves all things princess, I'll go with this for now.)

And when we got home we celebrated Christmas. 

We made a big brunch.

We plugged the Christmas lights in, still on the house because of the long winter. 

 

We baked snowman cut-out cookies 

and listened to Christmas music while decorating them. 

  

The girls said, "Even this snowman looks unhappy."

We watched "It's a Wonderful Life."

 Because, after all, it is.

And spring will come.

Until then, Merry Easter!

For Our Beloved Holy Father

On this historic day, our love and prayers are with our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, and with the Church.

O Lord, we are the millions of believers, humbly kneeling at Thy feet and begging Thee to preserve, defend, and save the Sovereign Pontiff for many years. He is the Father of the great fellowship of souls and our Father as well. On this day, as on every other day, he is praying for us also, and is offering unto Thee with holy fervour the sacred Victim of love and peace. 

 

Wherefore, O Lord, turn Thyself toward us with eyes of pity; for we are now, as it were, forgetful of ourselves, and are praying above all for him. Do Thou unite our  prayers with his and receive them into the bosom of Thine infinite mercy, as a sweet savor of active and fruitful charity, whereby the children are united in the Church to their Father. All that he asks of Thee this day, we too ask it of Thee in union with him. 

 

Whether he weeps or rejoices, whether he hopes or offers himself as a victim of charity for his people, we desire to be united with him; nay more, we desire that the cry of our hearts should be made one with his. Of Thy great mercy grant, O Lord, that not one of us may be far from his mind and his heart in the hour that he prays and offers unto Thee the Sacrifice of Thy blessed Son. At the moment when our venerable High Priest, holding in His hands the very Body of Jesus Christ, shall say to the people over the Chalice of benediction these words: "The peace of the Lord be with you always," grant, O Lord, that Thy sweet peace may come down upon our hearts and upon all the nations with new and manifest power. Amen. (Pope Leo XIII)

School Update - Part 3

And the conclusion to what's shakin' in our schoolroom ...

Art: After taking a couple of years off of formal art study, we returned to Artistic Pursuits this year. What I love about this program is that it is a combination of art appreciation and history with learning techniques and applying them. This year we are focusing on American art and the elements of art and composition.

History: We continue to love Story of the World and just started Book Two on the Middle Ages. It takes us about two years to go through a book because we only do history one day a week and there are (again!) so many good things to read and do. We like to listen to the audio version of these books. If you've never listened to Jim Weiss, you're missing out. If you're not using Story of the World, check out his other stuff from Greathall Productions.

Geography: We've had a smattering of geography here and there over the years with our history and literature studies. We've memorized the capitals and done some basic map work. We made North Dakota lapbooks our first year after moving here. We subscribe to magazines like Faces and own geography boardgames. My kids really enjoy studying different cultures, though, so this year we began a more formal geography study with Around the World in 180 Days. We have been focusing on one continent each quarter, and so will use this book for two years. Our studies include identifying land forms and defining geography terms, map work, and cultural studies, but the book also includes history and religion sections as well. The kids have studied Africa and Asia so far this year, and we just moved on to Europe. They have enjoyed making travel brochures and planning and preparing cultural meals among other things.

Music: Here's a subject where we've been sporadic at best. Although I'd love the kids to have knowledge of the great composers and their major works, as well as be able to read music and play an instrument or two, I just haven't been good about fitting this into our curriculum. I don't feel too badly though, as they all share my love of music, and someone is almost always singing around here. This year I did purchase the Classical Kids series, and (when we get around to it) we all enjoy it. So far we've studied Beethoven and a little Handel. We're going to study Tchaikovsky this quarter. In addition, Miss Sunshine started playing the piano last summer and I just love listening to her playing some classical stuff like Mozart's Rondo alla Turca, Bach's Minuet in G, and Pachelbel's Canon. The Boy continues to work on his guitar skills. And Miss Rose has been bugging me to find her a flute teacher -- another thing on my list of "haven't got around to yet."

And, Physical Education: Our area homeschool group has a great program we attend once a week. Each month they focus on a different sport/activity: soccer, tennis, flag football, basketball, bowling, volleyball, rhythms, swimming, gymnastics, and track and field. But what we ALL really miss in this German state is Irish dance!

School Update - Part 2

I started posting yesterday about what we've been up to this year. Here's some more ...

Language Arts: This is another area where we started with one approach and ended up with something totally different. When we first started homeschooling, the kids had separate books for reading and grammar and handwriting and vocabulary and spelling. It seemed like a lot. And it was. Then I found out about Total Language Plus and Learning Language Arts Through Literature at a homeschool conference. We've tried them both, but I definitely prefer Total Language Plus. The integrated approach makes a lot of sense to me and works really well for our family. Each quarter, the kids have a primary work of literature which they read and about which they answer comprehension questions. They also write short answers or paragraphs which focus more on critical thinking skills than on comprehension. Their vocabulary and spelling words (which are extremely challenging, I think) are the same and taken from the work of literature. The study guides for the younger grades contain grammar lessons; for the older kids, there are dictations and proofreading exercises. The guides also contain many ideas for enrichment activities, ranging from art projects to field trips and everything in between, though we seldom do many of these. I have the girls do their dictations in handwriting to get practice there. And I am kind of a grammar nazi, so I also have them practice Daily Paragraph Editing. So far this year, the girls have read Rifles for Watie and Julie of the Wolves. They are currently reading The Light in the Forest and will finish up the year with Out of the Dust and Crispin: The Cross of Lead. The Boy, my slower reader, spent the first half of the year studying The Courage of Sarah Noble and has now moved on to The Whipping Boy. The kids choose their own novels from the list I provide.

 

Italian: For our modern language study, we have been using the Rosetta Stone Italian Homeschool Curriculum (in the hopes we will one day be spending a semester abroad). I brush up when I can (which is not very often!).

 

Science: Here's a subject where I think I've done something different every single year. But I think I've finally found something I'm going to stick with for a while. It's called NOEO Science (from noeo, the Greek word for "understand," and referencing Romans 1:20). There are three levels each of biology, chemistry, and physics. The instructions are easy to follow. There is no textbook, but rather a selection of books from different publishers on different topics, and they are great. And, the best part is, get this, the experiment kits are included! We've done more experiments this year, just because I didn't have to make sure we had the supplies on hand! The teacher's guide, books, and experiment kits all came in one box! (Can you tell I'm enthusiastic about this program!)

 

Not done yet ... stay tuned for more.