made for JOY

Seven Quick Takes - Volume 15

2012-01-27T11:29:00.014-06:00

-- 1 --

The Quick Takes

I had to go back quite a ways to see what volume of Quick Takes this was -- I haven't done one in quite a while, July to be specific. I thought I would use the opportunity to catch you up on some things that have happened around here while I was on my (unintentional) blogging break.

-- 2 --

The Job

I'm in the process of transitioning from a full-time salaried worker to working on a contract basis. This will be the first time in twelve years that I will be free -- free from having to work a certain number of hours or having to do a certain amount of work each week.

I am very much looking forward to it and to the changes that it will (hopefully) enable our family to make.

As an aside, I don't recommend working full-time and homeschooling.

-- 3 --

The Arm

August 27
The Boy falls off his scooter going down the hill in front of our house.
Mom does all the "checks" and determines his arm is not broken.

September 2
Mom finally brings The Boy to the doctor,
where it is determined his arm is, in fact, broken.
(Doctor consoles Mom saying it is a minor break
and he couldn't tell until it was x-rayed either.)
Arm is splinted.

September 6
The first of many trips to The Bone and Joint Center --
Specialist #1 agrees a splint is sufficient.

September 27
Specialist #1 determines split can come off, except for gym class and rough play.

October 7
The Boy slips WALKING (really!) down the ~~cursed~~ hill in front of our house.
Mom KNOWS the arm is broken without any "checks."
Doctor confirms and splints.

October 11
Specialist #2 determines The Boy needs surgery.
Apparently, this is not a minor break this time --
Mom can see that clearly from the x-ray.

October 12
The Boy undergoes a forearm reduction.
Anesthesia and The Boy do not get along for most of the day.

October 18 - November 16
Many more visits to The Bone and Joint Center for x-rays --
The Boy accumulates an ~~expensive~~ impressive sticker collection.

November 16
The cast comes off.
The Boy gets an ~~expensive~~ custom-fit camouflage splint.

November 16 - December 15
The Boy goes to occupational therapy.

Today - January 27 (exactly five months after first fall)
We visit The Bone and Joint Center for the last time
(at least for this injury).

-- 4 --

The Piano

We acquired a piano in October, only having to pay for moving and tuning costs. Miss Sunshine is going to begin taking lessons, as soon as I have a minute to figure out the who and when.

-- 5 --

The Baby's Latest Trick

I love this -- every time I put her in her Vikings outfit, she puts her arms in the air and yells, "Touch-up!" ...

... and then she lowers them and yells, "Touch-down!"

-- 6 --

The Cookies

Yesterday, as I was busy working, working, working on the aforementioned goal (see #1), the cookie jar was magically filled with homemade oatmeal raisin cookies (my favorite), without any intervention on my part, thanks to Miss Rose. (I love big kids!)

-- 7 --

The Date Night

It's Friday. I get to spend the evening with the man I love. Need I say more?

Have a great weekend.
And go check out more Quick Takes at Jen's.

Wednesday Wisdom

2012-01-25T06:58:00.005-06:00

Perform faithfully what God requires of you each moment,
and leave the thought of everything else to Him.
I assure you that to live in this way will bring you great peace.
(St. Jane Frances de Chantal)

I long to give you everything, O God,
and yet I am weak and fickle like a child.
Hold me and remind me, moment by moment,
that You are with me and that I can do all things through You.
(Danielle Bean and Elizabeth Foss, Small Steps for Catholic Moms)

A Few of My Favorite Things - Winter Edition

2012-01-21T20:31:00.000-06:00

Cold outside. Warm and cozy inside.

These are a few of my favorite (winter) things ...

blizzards
(Yes, I love them -- when I've had time to stock the kitchen,
and we're all home, safe and sound,
and it snows, and snows, and snows, and we can't go anywhere.)

(And, yes, I feel gypped this winter.)

having a fireplace
(Even if it is gas, and I'd prefer a real one, it is nice and cozy.)
(And we probably have more fires than we would if it were a real one.)

lights
(Once the Christmas tree is gone, I still like some lights on the mantle.)

(And I enjoy my wedding gift replica of the Saint Paul Cathedral, where we were married.)

scented candles
(They make the house smell yummy.)

slow cooker
(It makes the house smell yummy.)

baking
(Hey ... I must like a yummy-smelling house.)

coffee with friends
(I couldn't find a coffee shop picture,
but, hey, it looks like I was blogging when I took this,
so that means I was kind of with friends, right?)

Vanicream
(a dry skin must have)
(And I just noticed they now have it with SPF, so I'll use it all summer, too!)

bright colored, fuzzy socks
(especially new ones that are still really, really soft)

Cuddl Duds
(I have boring black ones and white ones ... no leopard print here.)

an electric blanket
(on a timer, so the bed is warm when we get in it at night)
(which is what I'm going to go do right now)

So, what are some of your favorite winter things?

What Works For Me: Personal Prayer

2012-01-20T17:41:00.004-06:00

One of the things I like most about reading blogs (especially mom blogs) (most especially Catholic homeschooling mom blogs) is the opportunity to see what works in other people’s homes, with other people’s kids, in other people's lives. Blogs have become a source of inspiration and hope, a go-to for problem-solving and encouragement. I like to share what works for me, and I love to hear about what works for you, because I'm always trying to make things around my home, with my kids, in my life a little better. Let's share the wealth.

Today's topic? Personal prayer.
What works for you?
Leave a comment or link up.

As a mom (and I’m sure you other moms can empathize with me), I am pressed to find quiet time for personal prayer. I must have prayer time in the morning, before the kids are awake, or it doesn’t happen. I can’t wait until they’re in bed for the night because I’m just too tired. Even in the morning sometimes I struggle with staying awake, but in the morning prayer time can be accompanied by a cup of coffee, and it most always is. But even in the absence of physical noise, my heart is a cacophony of fears and worries, and my mind is screaming with the day's to-do list, and I often struggle with how to give my Lord my full attention. I find that a longer period of prayer is helpful, forty minutes or so, just because it takes me a while to actually quiet my heart enough to listen a bit. I’ve also appreciated the ancient practice of lectio divina, praying with Scripture -- often I use the Gospel passage for the day. And journaling, especially, prevents my mind from wandering too much and helps me keep my focus.

So, how about you?

When do you pray?

Where?

How?

And what do you find most difficult about personal prayer?

Christmas 2011

2012-01-16T13:02:00.011-06:00

It seems that every year there is one Christmas gift I am particularly proud of. There was the year I found wooden ornaments for the girls and had a picture of their favorite horses from horse camp burned on them. And there was the year I made a scrapbook for my sister of the trip the two of us took to Europe when she was graduating from high school. This year it was my hubby's gift.

First, a little history: My grandmother made Christmas stockings for each of her eight grandchildren. I've had mine ever since I can remember.

I've carried on the tradition by making a stocking for each of my own children (although they usually have to wait until their second or third Christmas before I get it done).

Filling the stockings is Santa's job, so we have to have the biggest stockings available ... 28" diagonally. After The Baby was born, I couldn't find any that size anymore. So I waited, hoping the company that made the other three would start making the Jumbo size again. This past October, I decided to try my luck on eBay. Not only did I find a Jumbo stocking for The Baby, I found a kit to make the exact stocking my grandmother made me thirty-some years ago!

I was able to sneak in time when my husband wasn't at home to work on the stocking, and I was able to finish it in time for Christmas. I was even able to get my mom to write his name on it for me to embroider, so the handwriting would match the handwriting on mine. Christmas morning I sneaked into the living room while my hubby was making the coffee and placed his filled stocking in between the kids' stockings on the couch. And you know what he noticed first? The Brachs Stars peeking out of the top ... he wondered why someone else was getting his favorite candy. It was priceless.

Now to get to work on The Baby's stocking before next year, which will be her fourth Christmas already!

What was your favorite Christmas 2011 surprise, either given or received?

By the way ... I've missed you.

Checking In

2011-10-04T19:15:00.008-05:00

Dear Readers,

Please don't give up on me. I'm still here.

This school year
and my family
and my job
and my new house
have left little time for blogging.

And that is how it must and should be right now.

Changes are coming though.

Stay tuned.

Blessings,
Michelle

PS Here are some more vacation pictures
to enjoy in the meantime.
Day 6 was a highlight for us all!

Following Laura: Part 3

2011-09-11T07:58:00.008-05:00

On Day 4 of our trip, we left the Pepin area and traveled toward Walnut Grove, MN, scene of On the Banks of Plum Creek.

On the way, we stopped to have a picnic lunch with some dear friends, the Handmaids of the Heart of Jesus, in New Ulm.

We then continued on our way, stopping to pick up groceries before heading to Lake Shetek State Park and the camper cabin we would be staying in for the next three nights.

We had time to check out the lake and do a little exploring before dinner.

While the big kids were able to stay dry, ...

... it was just too enticing for The Baby.

On Day 5, we spent the morning at the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum in Walnut Grove.

(I think I should post this in our schoolroom, don't you?)

(And definitely this one!)

After stopping at the restroom, ...

... we drove past the bell that Pa helped to purchase for the church in Walnut Grove.

And then we headed to Plum Creek Park, where we enjoyed a picnic lunch and the afternoon playing in Lake Laura.

Then it was time to head back to camp for a quick bath on the deck ...

... and dinner before the storm came rolling in.

Following Laura: Part II

2011-08-30T18:42:00.007-05:00

I have been so busy getting ready for our school year, and trying to unpack a few more boxes, and staying caught up on my paying job, that I just haven't had time to share more of our vacation ... but I must, because we had such a good time (and I need a record for myself, too!).

Not wanting to move around too often, we had decided to stay in each locale for two full days. Having visited all of the Laura sites in Wisconsin, we stayed on the Minnesota side of the Mississippi for Day 3.

We hiked at Frontenac State Park.

We rode a genuine replica 1800s paddle wheeler.

beautiful Lake Pepin

It was crowded,
but The Baby found a great spot under the table.

And then she made some new friends.

And the three older kids all got to drive for a while.

We picnicked in a city park and fed the ducks.

And we visited LARK Toys and rode a hand-carved basswood carousel
(probably the coolest carousel I've ever seen).

Miss Rose and her unicorn

Miss Sunshine's steed

a Boy and his Dragon

The Baby wasn't too sure about this ginormous bunny.

But she warmed up to him by the time the ride was over.

We finally headed back to the hotel for a quick swim,

and some bedtime reading.

Stay tuned for more ...

Following Laura: Part I

2011-08-22T20:17:00.011-05:00

It was crazy, but it was great.

And much needed.

The first vacation in seven years that neither my DH nor I
brought our computers or any work.

We moved into our new home on July 30 and left for vacation a week later. Instead of unpacking boxes, I spent the first week in our new home trying to find what I needed in those boxes for our ten-day trip -- bathing suits and towels, camping equipment, stuff to bake goodies to bring with us, car games, and on and on and on -- and we didn't have a washer and dryer hooked up yet either!

A fitting conclusion to our studies of Laura Ingalls Wilder, our trip consisted of visits to three of the places she called home. Day One was spent driving from Bismarck to Wabasha, Minnesota, with a stop for a late lunch in the Twin Cities with Papa and Gramma on the way. While driving, we listened to Little House in the Big Woods -- that is, until the radio went out on our van. The little house about which Laura wrote was located approximately seven miles north of Pepin, Wisconsin. Because I couldn't find any camping accommodations near Pepin when I was planning our trip at the last minute, we ended up staying at the AmericInn in Wabasha, right across the river. We arrived in time for the kids to swim in the hotel pool before snacks and bed.

The next morning we headed to The Little House Wayside, seven miles north of Pepin, to visit a replica cabin built on the site where Laura was born.

It was a beautiful morning for a drive in the woods (and cornfields) of Wisconsin, and the kids had fun climbing in the loft and imagining what it would have been like to spend long winter days playing there.

Next we headed to Lake Pepin for a picnic lunch and to gather pebbles, just like Mary and Laura did on their first visit to Lake Pepin. In addition to pebbles, some of the kids were more excited than others to find feathers and fish bones.

After lunch, we visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum in Pepin, which features items related to Laura and the era in which she lives.

(photo courtesy of Miss Rose)

Then we headed back to Pepin's marina and beach. It was too windy for swimming, and the beach was closed, but the kids played in the sand and water, and we walked down the fishing pier and scared the seagulls.

We ended the evening at Pizza on the Farm. This was a first for us. Created by two local farmers, every ingredient for the pizzas they make is grown on their property. They're only open one night a week, and all they provide is the (fabulous) pizza -- patrons bring their own plates and silverware, beverages (wine and beer, if you want), and blankets and chairs to spread on the grounds.

We enjoyed our pizza with my uncle and aunt who live in the area, and the kids wandered around looking at the animals while we waited.

We had so much fun, I think I need to find a Bismarck farmer who wants to do the same!

New

2011-08-21T20:26:00.003-05:00

New House

New Shoes

New Appliances

New 'do

New Phone

New Plans

New Parts for our Van

And that, my friends, is where August went.
Stay tuned for more ... how our vacation was spent.

P.S. It was fabulous.

P.P.S I missed you.

Seven Quick Takes - The What We've Been Up To Edition

2011-07-22T10:05:00.011-05:00

-- 1 --

Shortly after Daddy returned from Italy, we went to Minnesota for a long weekend. My MIL threw a wonderful graduation party for my DH, so though we were only in the Cities for three days, we were able to visit with many family members and some of our dearest friends.

-- 2 --

We left the girls in MN for a week of dancing with their friends because we thought we were going to close on our new house that week. Long story short -- we didn't. As of today, progress is being made and, hopefully, we'll be closing some time in the next week.

-- 3 --

We had a professional family photo taken for the first time in years (by a fellow blogger traveling the country in an RV with her family and taking pictures along the way). I can't wait to see the results!

-- 4 --

Almost all of the toys are packed. It has been too hot to play outside, too hot even to go swimming. LEGOS have been my lifesaver.

-- 5 --

I have been reading some wonderful books this month. I just finished Acedia and Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life. I am in the middle of Kristin Lavransdatter -- why had I never heard of this novel until this year!?! And I'm finding Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living to be inspiring -- plus, with moving, I think I'm ideally situated to simplify and organize without the hassle of tearing up the house. I get to start with a blank slate!

-- 6--

Despite the fact that we haven't moved yet *panic* and I haven't even started planning and ordering books for the new school year *deep breath* under obedience to my husband, and in accord with our new family mission statement, I am planning a family vacation. We are going to Pepin, WI, Walnut Grove, MN, and DeSmet, SD ... can you guess why?

-- 7 --

A few days ago I mixed up some of this and put it in the freezer. I forgot it was there until just now. I suppose I can't have any yet -- it's only 10:30 -- but it is Friday, and we're having company for dinner, so I can start counting down at least. I'm going to try to finish packing up the lower level before then! Gotta run!

Have a great weekend!

And go visit Jen.

Seven Quick Takes - Volume 13

2011-07-09T12:48:00.004-05:00

*** I know it's not Friday --
I wrote this in the car last night and couldn't post it until now. ***

-- 1 --

My DH has been home for a week now. We’ve been finally enjoying some time together as a family. This summer has been/is crazy -- first, all the flooding and busyness of helping people sandbag and evacuate, then Daddy in Italy for two and a half weeks, and now preparing to close on our house next week and move.

-- 2 --

Back in ’96 when Hubby and I were in Italy for a semester as undergrads, we took a weekend trip to northeastern Italy. We visited some small towns near the Slovenian border and one night tried a delicious strawberry liquor -- fragolino. We have never since been able to find it, even on return trips to Italy. Look what my DH found and brought back for me … along with a new purse! (I think he was getting tired of carrying my lipstick and license, etc. in his pocket when we go out alone and I don’t have a diaper bag with me!)

-- 3 --

Daddy also brought back souvenirs for the kids. They each got a Kinder Surprise Egg (which I just found out when I googled it are contraband!?! oops.) and a wall plaque of their patron saint. The older girls got rosary bracelets, The Boy got a crucifix for his new room, and The Baby got a new “baby.”

-- 4 --

The first morning Daddy was back we went out to brunch, which was very enjoyable, but what the kids REALLY wanted was Daddy’s homemade pancakes. He obliged the next morning.

-- 5 --

The Baby is really a Daddy’s girl and hasn't left his side since he got home. One of her favorite things to do is to eat breakfast out on the deck, listening to and watching the birdies. She brought Daddy with her this week. Two and a half weeks missing Daddy must seem like an eternity to a two-year-old.

-- 6 --

This weekend we’re back in the Twin Cities. The two older girls are very excited to be spending a week with their friends attending a special workshop at their dance studio. It just so happens that a friend from Bismarck is passing through the Twin Cities on Friday on his way back to Bismarck and can pick the girls up and bring them home. We can’t stay the whole week because we’re scheduled to close on our house this Friday.

-- 7 --

While we’re in town, my MIL is throwing a graduation party for my Hubby, so we’ll get to spend time with many family members and friends on our short visit to Minnesota.

Hope you all have a great weekend, too. And check out more Quick Takes at Jen's.

the view from here

2011-06-30T19:49:00.003-05:00

Check out what's in my backyard right now.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-30T08:49:00.004-05:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Wordless Wednesday - Ninety Degrees

2011-06-29T17:34:00.001-05:00

Peter and Paul

2011-06-29T08:00:00.002-05:00

Praise to you, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who in your great mercy
have given us new birth and hope
through the power of Christ's resurrection.

Through the prayers of the apostles Peter and Paul
may we who received this faith through their preaching
share their joy in following the Lord
to the unfading inheritance
reserved for us in heaven.

We ask this in the name of Jesus the Lord.
Amen.

(Opening Prayer, Mass during the Day, Solemnity of Peter and Paul, Apostles)

Toward an Intentional Life

2011-06-28T07:39:00.003-05:00

First say to yourself what you would be;
and then do what you have to do.
(Epictetus)

Appealing to my love of order, and realizing that we are moving into a house that is quite a bit smaller than the last house we owned, and smaller than the one we are currently living in, I picked up Organized Simplicity about a month ago. The title itself was appealing to me, but I've also seen it mentioned more than a few times around the blogosphere.

In 1967, Charles E. Hummel wrote and published an essay entitled Tyranny of the Urgent, stating that the "greatest danger is letting the urgent things crowd out the important." We spend so much of our energy and time putting out fires, answering phone calls and e-mails, and in the meantime, we let the most important things in our life pass us by. In the twenty-first century, many of us respond to the tyranny of the urgent. We let the things we value most take a backseat to whatever is begging for attention in the moment.

Hmmm ... that sounds way too familiar.

One of the steps toward living an intentional life that has been on my mind and heart (again) is to create a family purpose statement. This has come up over and over again through the years. I have started work on it, only to put it aside and forget about it. One of my goals this summer is to actually complete it, and create a family crest, before the school year begins. This is the third chapter of Organized Simplicity.

Now that the kids are older, it's been fun to involve them in the process. I sat down and "interviewed" each of the older three and Daddy, after answering the interview questions myself first. I asked them things like: What are the strengths of each member of our family? Collectively, when are we at our best and when are we at our worst? What could we do better as a family? What would we like people to say about our family and about our home? What is the main purpose of our home? What does our family look like in ten years? What is the purpose of life?

It was interesting to hear what the kids had to say, and comforting to know that, despite our lack of intentionality lately, Daddy and I are still largely on the same page. I was also happy that we were unanimous is our response to the question on the purpose of life: in its simplest form, "to get to Heaven."

The next step is to sit down, when Daddy gets home, and look at our answers together, see if we can identify any themes, develop a list of adjectives to encompass them, and start creating our statement.

In the end, the goal is to have a clear, concise, workable purpose statement that accurately reflects your priorities, your personality, and your vision for your family.... It will help you make decisions, feel confident about saying "no," and be a bit better at focusing on the important instead of the urgent.

So ... any advice? Have you created a family purpose statement and/or crest? Do you have a name for your home school or a motto? How did you get there? How does your purpose statement serve your family?

Snapshots Around the World: Tree

2011-06-27T09:58:00.003-05:00

From Snapshots Around the World: "Three women, three continents, a shared love of faith, family, and beauty in small things. We share a picture every week from our corners of the world. We celebrate our lives which are so different and yet so similar."

Here's my "Tree." (Thankfully, it doesn't look like this right now, but it did for a really. long. time this past winter.)

I'm really enjoying this new blog. Won't you link up, too?

Prayer and Water

2011-06-27T07:20:00.005-05:00

First of all, thank you to all who sent me kind words, encouragement, and prayers last week. I thank God for you.

One of the hardest things for me is to accept my own failings and weaknesses. I have in my head an idea of what life should look like and, when it doesn't, I get frustrated, mostly with myself. And it doesn't help that our graduate school life for the past few years has lacked order and balance and intentionality. Life has required hard work and flexibility for too long, it seems. I, who crave order, love goals and lists and statements of purpose, and aspire to living a balanced life, have spent my days putting out fires and dealing with the immediate needs of my husband, children, and household. Life has been about surviving.

And, now, how to regain what was lost? How to slow down again? How to be intentional? How to enjoy life?

We want life to have meaning, and want to be fulfilled, and it is hard to accept that we find these things by starting where we are, not where we would like to be. (Kathleen Norris, Acedia and Me)

Sometimes I get so caught up in my failings, so overwhelmed by how far I am from where I'd like to be, that I'm paralyzed, unable to accept the good because the better is always just out of reach.

This is what happens to perfectionists. At least this one.

Last week, after hitting (what I hope was) bottom, I took a first small step forward. (That in itself was a huge victory.) I needed to start from where I was, and take it one step at a time, this living intentionally. What is essential? The answer: To feed my soul and my body. Every day. Prayer and water. Part of my problem is that I haven't had enough of either one. And I can only take care of my family if I first take care of myself.

And so, I opened my Bible. I put down my spiritual reading and my journal and let the Word of God speak to me, feed my hungry soul. And I resolved to do the same tomorrow. No matter how difficult.

I filled my water bottle before going to bed. And I resolved (after the necessary morning coffee) to drink nothing else until that water bottle is empty. (Though I know all of the many benefits of drinking lots of water, I'm not a big fan and never have been.) And I resolved to do the same tomorrow. No matter how difficult.

Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. (St. Francis of Assisi)

One day at a time. Perseverance in spiritual discipline. Small steps in the right direction.

Prayer and water.

Papa

2011-06-18T16:45:00.003-05:00

As I was sorting through some photos this afternoon, I came across some of my Dad and his grandchildren, taken on his birthday two years ago. They cracked me up. So, in honor of his birthday last week and Father's Day tomorrow, I am posting them for your enjoyment.

We love you, Papa!

Seven Quick Takes - Volume 12

2011-06-17T10:32:00.014-05:00

-- 1 --

I haven't been writing much lately. Mostly because when I started this blog one of the main reasons I did so was to focus on the JOY in life, something I have to be intentional about because it doesn't always come naturally for me. And to be honest, I've been having a hard time lately. It's been a long year. And I'm spent. But one of the things I've come to appreciate about many of you, my fellow bloggers, is how real you are, how transparent, how not afraid to admit your failings and frustrations. And I've found encouragement and support here that I never imagined when I began this endeavor. Because sometimes life is hard. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes we're mad and sad and crabby. Sometimes we need to whine a little bit. At least I do. I'm writing this post to get some things off my chest and, hopefully, to be able to move on and begin writing JOYfully again. Consider yourself warned and proceed with caution.

-- 2 --

Relocating to a new place can be an exciting thing, yes. But moving five times, preparing for the sixth, in eleven years, with four children, is not my idea of a good time. In fact, moving is probably on my top-five list of least favorite things to do. Even more so when one is preparing to move into a house one doesn't want. Yes, we finally found a house. The flooding in Bismarck forced our hand. Housing is becoming even harder to obtain than it was before the flood hit. And, as more and more people have had to evacuate, renting has become impossible. I do not like the house we bought, but we had little choice. I cried and pouted for two days after we made the offer. I was mad. I am still sad and frustrated. I am ready to be settled and all I can see is what needs to be done to this house to make it "fine" until we can find what I really want -- something bigger. It sounds petty when I put it in words. After all, it's just a house. I know being "settled" is a silly thing to want because life can change at any moment. But I'm giving up something I've looked forward to for so long, almost our whole marriage. Graduate school is finally over, it's time to settle down a little bit and stay put. I like to entertain and this house doesn't have a formal dining room or a big enough kitchen to have another family over for a meal. I don't like the four-level layout. I'll have to share a bathroom with my clothes-pile-leaving-toothpaste-gooping-non-flushing kids. I'll never be able to take a bath without scrubbing the tub first. I don't like having the television in the main room of the house, but there's really no where else to put it. I like to keep the toys out of the bedrooms (where they complicate bedtime and the morning routine) and the schoolroom (where they distract), but the only other option is the dungeon, which needs some major work to turn it into a suitable playroom. And where in the world are we going to put the girls' dance floor and the elliptical? The garage?

-- 3 --

That brings me to my next lament: Irish dance, or the lack thereof. I really miss watching the girls compete and perform, even more than I thought I would. It was so fun for me. And for them. And they're good. And they still practice at home at least four days a week. And Miss Rose, especially, still misses it terribly and sheds tears on a monthly basis. And I haven't had time to do anything about it. And I don't know if I should, as much as I want to. And what are the other options? (As an aside: This week, finally, I have an opportunity to write a letter in support of importing more certified Irish dance instructors to the United States. If you live in an area that does not have access to Irish dance, and you are interested, especially if you live in the Bismarck area, please let me know and I can tell you how you can help by writing a similar letter.)

-- 4 --

Not only have I not found a way for the girls to keep up on their Irish dance, besides practicing at home, I did not sign my kids up for a single activity this past year, and they have nothing on the calendar for this summer. The girls saved up for half the cost of horse camp, like they usually do, but I haven't done anything about it. They've asked about swimming lessons and camps, but I haven't done anything about it. And, the thing is, it would be good for them, to meet people and get out of the house, but it would also be good for me to get them out of the house for a while ...

-- 5 --

... because I feel like the worst Mom ever lately. I need a break. Is it okay to admit that I don't even want to be around my kids lately? What will people think of me if I say that? Please tell me that once in a while you get so tired of doing and saying the same things over and over and over that you just want to scream or flee. Please tell me that sometimes you're convinced that your children have to be either disobedient, stupid, or deaf -- there's no other explanation, like "they're still children and they're learning" -- and you hope they're deaf, because that seems preferable to stupidity or disobedience.

This is a typical mood for me in early summer, after a long school year and a long winter, made even longer this year by Mother Nature and our inability to get out of the house on occasion. I need a break. Usually all I have to do is attend the Minnesota Catholic Home Education Conference at the end of May/beginning of June, and that gets me all revved up for another school year, excited about the possibilities, confirmed in our choice to home school. I wasn't able to attend this year. Big mistake.

Instead I've been reading Homeschooling with Gentleness. Last week I read:

We can sum up very quickly what people need to teach their own children. First of all, they have to like them, enjoy their company, their physical presence, their energy, foolishness, and passion. They have to enjoy all their talk and questions, and enjoy equally trying to answer those questions. They have to think of their children as friends, indeed very close friends, have to feel happier when they are near and miss them when they are away.

And you know what I thought? That's not me. I can't do it. I need to put the kids in school.

And what's worse? My feeling like a terrible mother has translated into the kids feeling like they are terrible kids. Which makes me feel even more like a terrible mother. It's a vicious cycle.

-- 6 --

And I certainly can't do it alone. And that's how I feel lately. Alone. Yes, I have my faith -- if I didn't I'd be institutionalized by now. And, yes, I have met several wonderful ladies here in Bismarck. And for that I'm grateful. But it takes time to establish relationships. I miss my old friends -- the kind of friends you can drop in on any time, without doing your hair or changing from the shirt your toddler wiped her nose on, the kind of friends from whose refrigerator (and wine cellar) you can help yourself, the kind of friends you can whine and cry and complain to without fear they're never going to want to spend time with you again, the kind of friends from whom you receive hugs and unconditional love and support. I miss my spiritual director. I miss my dad's science lessons and my sister-in-law's art lessons. I miss the children's museum and the science museum and the historical society and the zoo and the parks. I miss the familiarity that comes with living in a place for a long time and knowing where to go and what to do when you need a change of routine. I miss regular haircuts. I miss my doctor -- I want more babies, but I'm scared here without her.

And I want my husband, who left for Italy on Tuesday and won't be back until July 1. I want to celebrate his accomplishments together. Yes, the dissertation is done! But the job is just beginning, and it's a big job, starting a new program. And we both want it to succeed. I want to work with him on building the Catholic Studies program at the University. But I also want to go on vacation as a family, a real, long, don't-have-to-bring-any-work-with-us-for-the-first-time-in-I-don't-know-how-long summer vacation. I want to enjoy being with my family again.

-- 7 --

The first part of Lent this past year I learned an important, I would have said at the time "life-changing," lesson. I learned the importance of gratitude and its role in bringing JOY to my life.

Perhaps the biggest frustration of all right now is that I am such a slow learner, so incapable of changing. I so easily forget what I know to be true and let my emotions rule. This lesson of simple gratitude, which brought so much joy, was so easily forgotten, and I can't seem to get it back. And I have a hard time accepting my failings. I have a hard time accepting God's unconditional love for me. I have a hard time trusting Him.

I learned that, "Life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change." And yet I complain and long for something other than what I've been given. And I've been given a lot. Why can't I be happy that we have a house? Why can't I be grateful that my house is not being flooded? that my husband has a job? that I have four beautiful children who love me?

I could have written this, it so resonates in my soul:

In this wilderness, I keep circling back to this: I'm blind to joy's well every time I really don't want it. The well is always there. And I choose not to see it. Don't I really want joy? Don't I really want the fullest life? For all my yearning for joy, longing for joy, begging for joy -- is the bald truth that I prefer the empty dark? Prefer drama? Why do I lunge for control instead of joy? Is is somehow more perversely satisfying to flex control's muscle? ... Do I think Jesus-grace too impotent to give me the full life? Isn't that the only reason I don't always swill the joy? If the startling truth is that I don't really want joy, there's a far worse truth. If I am rejecting the joy that is hidden somewhere deep in this moment -- am I not ultimately rejecting God? Whenever I am blind to joy's well, isn't it because I don't believe in God's care? That God cares enough about me to always offer me joy's water, wherever I am, regardless of circumstance. But if I don't believe God cares, if I don't want or seek the joy He definitely offers somewhere in this moment -- I don't want God.... You have to want to see joy, God in the moment.... Only self can kill joy. I'm the one doing this to me.... The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy -- nothing else. Pride, mine -- that beast that pulls on the mask of anger -- that is what snaps this hand shut, crushes joy. (from One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp)

And so, I struggle. I fall. I get up again. I count on my God, whose mercies are new each day.

And I ask for your prayers.

Thanks for listening,
Michelle

(For more quick takes, hopefully of the more upbeat kind, visit Jen.)

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-16T16:45:00.004-05:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

the view from here

2011-06-15T21:41:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday - Papa and Gramma's Visit

2011-06-15T20:03:00.003-05:00

Rome Sweet Rome

2011-06-14T14:00:00.006-05:00

Hallie at Betty Beguiles is soliciting engagement stories.

This morning I dropped my DH off at the airport. He is, coincidentally, returning to the city where we were engaged, for the first time since we visited on our one-year anniversary, almost eleven years ago already.

Hubby and I had been friends for just over three years when he discerned his way out of the major seminary. We began dating in March of 1998. That September we left for Rome to help begin a new study abroad program for the University of Saint Thomas Center for Catholic Studies. (Little did I know what was hidden carefully in his pocket that long day of travel from the Twin Cities to Italy -- hint, hint, something expensive, round, and sparkly.)

On October 21, 1998, my twenty-third birthday, I found myself with my beloved at St. Peter's in Vatican City. He had intended to propose in the Blessed Sacrament chapel, but I was engrossed at the bookstore and the chapel was closed by the time we arrived. We went and sat by a fountain in Saint Peter's Square and he suggested we pray "our prayer" -- every night during our courtship, whether in one another's physical presence or on the phone, we prayed a prayer dedicating our courtship to Mary and asking her guidance and protection. Before we made the final sign of the cross, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I, of course, said yes. And then we kissed for the first time. All in the arms, literally, of Mother Church.

I thank God every day for the blessing my beloved continues to be to me. It's been a hard year, but he continues to put up with me, and I continue to admire his faithfulness, his perseverance, his dedication. I am so very proud of him. And blessed to share my life with him. Now and until death do us part.

(As an aside, my DH will be in Italy until July 1. He is traveling with 120 Catholic high school students from the Diocese of Bismarck on a study pilgrimage. May I ask you to keep said pilgrims in your prayers: that they may grow in their love and knowledge of their Catholic faith and that they may all return safely to their families? May I also ask you to pray for me, who will be starved for adult conversation for the next seventeen days!?! Thank you. End of aside.)

Snapshots Around the World: Wildflower

2011-06-13T17:42:00.002-05:00

a North Dakota sunflower in August

See more Snapshots Around the World. (Love this.)

Wordless Wednesday - Loves Her Sunglasses

2011-06-08T11:24:00.000-05:00

the view from here

2011-06-06T19:55:00.014-05:00

I think I've shared with you before, but in case you forgot, we live on a hill overlooking the city of Bismarck, North Dakota.

In case you haven't heard, Bismarck is flooding.

The first picture above shows Apple Creek last summer. The second picture shows a swollen Apple Creek last week. The Missouri River (below) is backing up into this creek.

A larger than normal snowpack in the Rockies and record rainfalls west of us have filled reservoirs, forcing the Army Corps of Engineers to release record amounts of water from Garrison Dam, 75 miles north of Bismarck, and open spillway gates for the first time since the dam was completed in 1953.

For almost two weeks, we have been helping our community prepare for flooding: moving people's belongings to the highest levels of their homes or evacuating them completely, babysitting, filling sandbags and building dikes.

The water came slowly at first.

But last Saturday morning, it was evident the water level was quickly rising in response to increased output from Garrison Dam, where the water level is approaching the top of the spillway gates.

Many are displaced. Many will lose their homes.

And the water is only supposed to get higher. It has been estimated that the water will rise 3 to 3.5 feet above flood stage. And remain until August.

Please remember those affected by this flooding in your prayers. Thank you.

Almost Wordless Wednesday - Presenting ...

2011-05-25T14:26:00.005-05:00

... the Doctor!

(with his director)

(with his proud parents)

(with his biggest fans)

Ugh

2011-05-16T19:47:00.004-05:00

I've had lots to blog about lately ...

... my great Mother's Day

... a ginormous bruise

... wood ticks

... a meal prepared by my kids just because

... garage cleaning

... the end of the school year

... our upcoming trip to Milwaukee for DHs graduation

But, I have to admit, I'm not in the mood.

That's right. I don't feel like blogging.

I'm trying to find a house. like yesterday.

And it's not going well.

And I'm frustrated and crabby.

We have to be out of the temporary house we've been living in since July by July.

And I don't know where we're going.

We found a house we liked. It had been sitting on the market for seventy-some days. We made an offer. So did three other people. We offered their asking price with no contingencies. Someone else offered more. We didn't get it.

Back to square one.

We found a house we liked even better than the first one. It was a little out of our range, but we (and our realtor) thought overpriced -- we had looked at similar (and better) houses in the same neighborhood for less. We tried to negotiate, but he rejected every offer. He's only willing to drop $2000 and won't pay closing costs or specials. This dude has a Porsche in his garage and one soon-to-be-graduating kid. I've got a minivan with the wipers stuck in the up position and a driver's side mirror held on with duct tape. I've got four littles and a husband just finishing seven years of graduate school. And he won't negotiate? What gives?

Now, I know God has a plan. But, man, this trust thing is getting harder and harder as July 1 approaches.

I want to cry. Actually, I am.

Prayers appreciated.

Back to square one.

(This sucks.)

"The Mystic Valley"

2011-05-06T06:53:00.006-05:00

The pictures speak for themselves ... an afternoon well spent.

Blessed!

2011-05-01T06:57:00.001-05:00

Blessed John Paul the Great, pray for us!

Forecast

2011-04-30T10:46:00.001-05:00

Today

Blizzard Warning
Hazardous Weather Outlook

Heavy
Snow
Hi 33 °F

*sigh*

At least the forecast improves after the weekend.
Maybe spring will stick around for a while after this.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-04-28T12:38:00.006-05:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Easter Sunday 2011

2011-04-28T09:51:00.006-05:00

Easter Sunday we celebrated the Son in the sun!

It was probably the nicest day we've had so far this year.

I snapped this picture of our blue, blue sky
first thing after ~~jumping~~ stumbling out of bed.

Despite our late night celebrating,
the kids were up earlier than I had hoped
to search for their eggs and baskets,
and begin the day's sugar intake early.

The Baby found her basket first,
hidden under a napkin in her cart.

All twenty-four hard-boiled eggs were found
(because Mommy threatened that
we wouldn't leave for the day until they were).

Every year, the kids get new bathing suits
and sunglasses from Dad and Mom
in their baskets.
This year they got new water shoes and hiking packs, too.

Who's ready for summer?

The Baby just started getting the hunting for eggs thing,
but she really dug the jelly bean thing.

We spent a wonderful afternoon and evening
with friends.

The kids scored during their second egg hunt,
and quadrupled the candy Daddy and Mommy had provided.

*sigh*

The Baby thought the eggs with candy inside
were much more fun than the hard-boiled ones.

And she's been playing with them ever since.

There was kite-flying.

And horseback riding.

And just enjoying the warm weather for a change.

But all that food and fun and fresh air
sure tuckers one out.

And we've been hungover ever since.

Happy Easter!

Saturday

2011-04-27T12:34:00.008-05:00

Saturday was a
JELL-O beans making,

pie baking,

errand running,
Easter-clothes-for-The-Boy searching,
hair cutting,

egg dying,

mess making,

finery wearing,

trying-to-be-still-and-remember before
Vigil attending,
Alleluia singing,
baptismal promise renewing,

lily smelling,

Shirley-Temple-and-Cosmopolitan drinking,
late night celebrating,

eye rubbing,

Resurrection day.

Alleluia!

2011-04-24T10:44:00.001-05:00

Resurrexit, sicut dixit. Alleluia!

Easter Blessings to you all!

Michelle

Still

2011-04-23T07:48:00.003-05:00

The cross still stands on Calv'ry hill,
Tree of a new and blessed life;
And in a garden close at hand
The Lord of life and death lies still.

The peace of death enfolds him now,
Anguish and pain can do no more.
The Victor-Victim for our sins,
He sleeps awhile to rise again.

To Christ who died for love of us,
Bearing our sins before the throne,
To Father and to Paraclete,
Be glory till the end of time.

The Wood of the Cross

2011-04-22T18:16:00.001-05:00

This is the wood of the cross,
on which hung the Savior of the world.

Come, let us worship.

Hot Cross Buns and Good Friday Tea

2011-04-22T15:37:00.005-05:00

I've always wanted to make Hot Cross Buns on Good Friday.

The kids were sleepy this morning, so I did.

And, thanks again, to the inspiration of Jessica and Alice,
after we attended the Good Friday liturgy at the University,
we celebrated our second Lenten tea.

The King’s Crown
"And Pilate asked Him, 'Are you the King of the Jews?'
And He answered him, 'You have said so.'"
Mark 15:2

(cream cheese, refried beans, and melted cheddar
with "crown" of tortilla chips)

Out of Envy
"[H]e perceived that it was out of envy
that the chief priests had delivered Him up."
Mark 15:10

(guacamole)

The Water Bowl
“Pilate took water and washed his hands before the crowd,
saying, 'I am innocent of this righteous man's blood.'"
Matthew 27:24

The Purple Cloak
"And they clothed Him in a purple cloak . . . ."
Mark 15:17

(grape fruit leather)

The Crown of Thorns
". . . and, plaiting a crown of thorns they put it on him."
Mark 15:17

(Ritz crackers with creamy peanut butter
and pretzel piece "thorns")

Golgotha Eggs
"And they brought Him to the place called Golgotha
(which means the place of the skull)."
Mark 15:22

(hard-boiled eggs)

The Seamless Garment
"But the tunic was without seam,
woven from top to bottom;
so they said to one another, 'Let us not tear it,
but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.'"
John 19:23-24

(tortilla "tunics" and mozzarella cheese cube "die")

The Two Robbers
"And with Him they crucified two robbers,
one on His right and one on His left."
Mark 15:27

(basil leaves)
[According to The Herb Society of America,
legend has it that the basil plant grew
around the site of Christ's crucifixion.
The Victorian Language of Flowers lists basil as
symbolic of both hatred and best wishes.
The taunting thief and the good thief come to mind.]

Vinegar to Drink
"And one ran and, filling a sponge full of vinegar,
put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink,
saying 'Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take Him down.'"
Mark 15: 36

(balsamic vinegar)

Temple Curtain
"And the curtain of the Temple was torn in two,
from top to bottom."
Mark 15: 38

The Roman Centurion
"And when the centurion, who stood facing Him,
saw that He thus breathed His last,
he said, 'Truly this man was the Son of God.'"
Mark 15:39

(100 tomato halves,
eaten with the cheese cubes, basil, and vinegar)

Laid in the Tomb
"And he brought a linen shroud, and taking Him down,
wrapped him in the linen shroud, and laid Him in a tomb
which had been hewn out of the rock;
and he rolled a stone against the door of the tomb."
(Mark 15:46)

(lemon poppyseed muffins with raspberry jelly)

Enter In

2011-04-21T21:48:00.009-05:00

We have been counting.

And, now, that for which we have longed is near.

This, the first, of the three holiest of holy days.

Though we are not obliged to follow the directives of the Passover meal,
we do so in imitation of Christ,

so we can use all of our senses to know, love, and serve Him.

This was our eighth Seder.

The kids look forward to it every year.

We remember.

We celebrate.

We believe.

The liturgy continues.

Come, let us adore Him.

Holy Thursday Tea

2011-04-21T11:25:00.005-05:00

Thanks to Jessica's inspiration,
who got the idea from Alice,

we celebrated our first of two Lenten teas today.

I love all the ideas you wonderful ladies share on your blogs.
And my kids do, too.

Palm on the Road
"And many spread their garments on the road,
and others spread leafy branches which they had cut from the fields."
Mark 11: 8

(heart of palm served on flatbread "roads"
which were then drizzled with the oil below)

Costly Oil
"And truly, I say to you,
wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world,
what she has done will be told in memory of her."
Mark 14: 9

(balsamic and basil dipping oil)

Thirty Pieces of Silver
"Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot,
went to the chief priests and said,
'What will you give me if I deliver him to you?'
And they paid him thirty pieces of silver."
Matthew 25: 14-15

(30 round crackers)
(note to self: next year cut round pieces of cheese instead)

Unleavened Bread
"And on the first day of Unleavened Bread,
when they sacrificed the passover lamb,
his disciples said to Him,
'Where will you have us go and prepare for you to eat the passover?'"
Mark 14: 12

(pita bread cut in wedges)

The Mount of Olives
"And when they had sung a hymn,
they went out to the Mount of Olives."
Mark 14: 26

(assorted marinated olives)

The Cock Crows Twice
"And Jesus said to him, 'Truly, I say to you,
this very night, before the cock crows twice,
you will deny me three times.'"
Mark 14: 30

(vegetable cream cheese, chicken breast,
and grated carrot in a spinach wrap)

Gethsemane Figs
"And they went to a place which was called Gethsemane;
and he said to his disciples, 'Sit here, while I pray.'"
Mk. 14: 32

(Fig Newtons)

Judas’ Kiss
"And when he came, he went up to him at once,
and said, 'Master!' And he kissed him."
Mark 14: 45

(green Hershey's Kisses)

The Clouds of Heaven
"And Jesus said, 'I am;
and you will see the Son of man seated at the right hand of Power,
and coming with the clouds of heaven.'"
Mark 14: 62

(the Reddi-Wip on the Fig Newtons pictured above)

Peter’s Tears
"And immediately the cock crowed a second time.
And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him,
'Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.'
And he broke down and wept."
Mark 14: 72

(blue Tic Tacs)

Now it's time to get ready for our Seder Meal,
and then we're headed to the Mass of the Lord's Supper.

Blessed Triduum to you all.

the view from here

2011-04-15T09:14:00.005-05:00

When we returned from our five days away on Sunday night,

we returned to a yard largely free of snow.

All that remained were some small piles here and there.

The temperatures were mild.

And all week the kids have been happily biking around the yard,
and enjoying picnic lunches outside,
and watching the University's softball team practice
in the field on the other side of our house.

Without jackets.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, they came in after a few minutes outside.
They put on their coats and hats and mittens before heading back out.

This morning, this is what we woke up to.

*sigh*

And it's still snowing.

If we stay in North Dakota,
I may have to budget in a yearly winter escape somewhere south
in order to survive.

Another good reason to keep my job.

*sigh*

Happy spring.

Or not.

For Now

2011-04-14T12:33:00.003-05:00

I just couldn't bear the winter backdrop and pictures anymore.

So, even though we have snow in the forecast again tonight,
here's to spring!

And until we get out on our first spring hike
-- hopefully, soon --
the picture above from last summer will have to suffice,
along with the sidebar pictures of the kiddos
from our last trip to the Twin Cities
(they turned out exceptionally well, after all,
so we may as well enjoy them for a while!).

Good riddance, snow and cold!

Happy spring to you all!
I hope you're warmer than we are!
(Feels like 29!)

The While We Were Away Daybook

2011-04-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Outside my [car] windows... there was a lot to look at from Bismarck to the Twin Cities to Milwaukee and back again, but my favorite view was of Lake Michigan from Alterra at the Lake, my favorite coffee shop, where I sat knitting while my DH read the paper last Friday afternoon after he had successfully defended his dissertation! Thus, life after graduate school began. How sweet it is!

I listened to... the relative quiet of the kids in the car -- they are actually very good car travelers, probably because we've been dragging them hither and yon since day one of their lives. We also entertained ourselves listening to some fun Italian artists recommended by Father B.

I am thinking... I can't believe we are really done with this. The journey started in the fall of 2004 when we moved to Milwaukee for the beginning of doctoral studies. The dissertation writing began in 2007. We moved back to Saint Paul in 2008 for a two-year stint in the Catholic Studies department at the University of Saint Thomas, our alma mater, before heading to Bismarck last July to start a similar program here. All that's left is the actual graduation ceremony on May 22.

I am thankful for... my DH's dissertation director and committee members.

Sr. Susan Wood, SCL, Ph.D.

Dr. Robert Masson, Ph.D. and his wife

I am also so grateful... for all the people who have believed in my husband and supported us during this time -- with prayers, with a helping hand, financially. We couldn't have done it without you! We are so blessed.

I am hoping and praying... for our dear friend, Daniel. We were able to see him on our way through the Twin Cities and visit with him about his recent scary diagnosis. More on this later, but if you can spare a prayer in the meantime, I would be grateful.

From the kitchen... after a week of mostly eating out, we are happy to be eating home-cooked meals again. But while we were gone, I really enjoyed my tenderloin and crab cakes at Swig and two Buca celebrations -- one in Milwaukee to celebrate with some of my DH's committee members and our friends, and one in the Twin Cities on the way home to celebrate my sister's 30th birthday. In Milwaukee, I finally got to sit at the Pope's table!

(see Benedict in the background?)

From the schoolroom... Needless to say, we took most of last week off. In fact, the girls were scheduled to take a Latin exam Wednesday morning, but we decided at the last minute to leave early, so they even got out of that!

I created... another dishcloth -- car trips are great for knitting!

I read... nothing while we were away. Though I had several things in my bag, it was nice to just sit and knit or do nothing but visit (twelve hours in the car with just my DH!).

Noticing that... we are not spending nearly as much money at Starbuck's as we have been the last three years or so when my husband needed a place other than home or work to write.

Around the house... it was very quiet because we weren't home! We stayed at my in-laws last Wednesday night. They graciously watched the kids while DH and I continued on to Milwaukee. Thursday we stayed at a bed and breakfast we had stayed at once before when we lived in Milwaukee. Friday we stayed with our dearest Milwaukee friends (and stayed up way too late!). And Saturday we returned to our in-laws to spend some time with them and pick up the kids before heading back to Bismarck. Thank you all for your generous hospitality!

One of my favorite things... spending time with dear, dear friends.

Pondering these words... It is finished. (And asking: Now what?)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Continue adjusting to our new life. And plan for Holy Week.

Some picture-thoughts I am sharing: grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins at Buca.

For more daybooks, visit here.

Blue Skies

2011-04-04T13:05:00.006-05:00

Just went outside and took this picture.

Made me think of this song.

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see
(Irving Berlin)

Maybe it worked.

Defiance

2011-04-03T19:40:00.003-05:00

Protesting Mother Nature's plot to prolong winter,
this evening we grilled brats,
ate potato salad and broccoli salad,
and drank vodka tonics and limeade.

Take that, Mother Nature!

We'll show you what season this is ... IT IS SPRING!

My DH played along with my little fantasy,
but when he came in from grilling,
chilled to the bone by the very winter-y, howling wind,
he said, "It sure doesn't feel like spring."

Thanks, Sweetie.

We showed Her.

A Star Wars Party

2011-04-02T13:16:00.009-05:00

If you want to throw together a themed birthday party in no time (like I got a few ideas for food from this website yesterday, and went to the store this morning three hours before the party), Star Wars is it. And since Star Wars is what The Boy wanted, I lucked out this year.

The other Jedis arrived at 11:00 (earlier in the day being better for seven-year-old Padawan learners, and for this Jedi Master), and first went to work on posters for their rooms at the academy.

They then went downstairs for lightsaber combat training while this Jedi Master made lunch. (The Boy was reluctant to share his new super-cool-from-his-sisters-for-his-birthday lightsabers with the other Jedis, but eventually did.)

After training, lunch was served.

(double-sided lightsaber hot dogs)

(Ewok food, including fish and mattberries)

(carbonite Jell-o with poor Han Solo frozen in it)

(Yoda Soda with super cool lightsaber straws)

Next, the Padawans had a test in speed and agility, when they competed to see who could first successfully build a TIE starfighter.

Finally, cake to celebrate of a hard morning of training.

Good work, young Jedis!

Seven

2011-04-01T09:32:00.012-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to my not-so-little-anymore,

full of life,

always constructing,

fun-loving,

Momma's boy.

He's my mischief-making,

Lego-loving,

seven today,

favorite son!

Me and My Better Half

2011-03-31T16:12:00.004-05:00

Thought I'd join Hallie and others in listing

Ten Facts about Me and My Better Half

-- 1 --
We met my freshman year in college in a class on Augustine's Confessions.

-- 2 --
For the first three years of our friendship, he was in the seminary.
For two of those years, I was in a serious relationship with someone else.

-- 3 --
We got engaged in Saint Peter's square in Rome on my 23rd birthday.

-- 4 --
Our wedding bands are inscribed with the Latin S.E.M.P.E.R..A.M.I.C.I.

-- 5 --
Once married, the poor man ~~happily~~ willingly adjusted
to some of my more obsessive-compulsive qualities,
like alphabetized spices and labels facing out.

-- 6 --
He has the coffee made and waiting for me almost every morning.

-- 7 --
We love to spend winter evenings watching
old Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons episodes
while snuggled up in bed together with a glass of wine.

-- 8 --
He jokes that I think he is the best husband because of my work --
I have low standards because I read about failed marriages all the time.
But, he really is the best.
(Sorry, ladies.)

-- 9 --
We make beautiful children together.

-- 10 --
After eleven years, it only keeps getting better.

A March Daybook

2011-03-30T21:30:00.002-05:00

Outside my windows... are signs of spring -- warm sun, melting snow, puddles, geese flying north, deer nibbling at the trees, children's laughter, longer days -- intermingled with more (and more) winter -- cold temps, howling wind, blowing snow, sleds back out. I can handle it though, because spring is here, whether Mother Nature likes it or not, and the sun will shine again, and it will look like spring soon enough!

(This was how every window in my house looked last Tuesday ... couldn't see out!)

(I had to open the door to take a picture of what it looked like outside!)

I am listening to... my son becoming more and more proficient on the guitar. He's finally playing a song he REALLY likes. (Thanks, Jamie, for the inspiration!)

I am thinking... mostly about trying to find a home. And trying not to stress about it.

I am thankful for... so many things. Today ...

237. morning prayer time on the couch next to my husband
238. talking to my dad on the phone
239. laundry mostly caught up
240. many nights of eight hours of sleep
241. slowly letting go of my addiction to clock-watching
242. soft baby cheeks
243. a hot pink bracelet that say LOVE given to me by Miss Sunshine
244. how this bracelet is a reminder to me of how much God loves me
245. my wedding band that reads SEMPER AMICI

I am hoping and praying... that a dear, dear friend realizes soon that life does not suck.

From the kitchen... homemade chicken vegetable soup -- thought I better use up the broth in the freezer before spring gets here and all we want to do is grill!

From the schoolroom... the kids did their first exhibition tonight, just for Daddy and Mommy, similar to the one Laura participated in in Little Town on the Prairie. The girls recited paragraphs about each of the first sixteen presidents, plus a poem, all from memory. The Boy recited two poems. I was so proud of them. Next time, we'll have a real audience!

I am creating... dishcloths. One of these days I'll get around to learning something else, but for now it's nice to knit without having to think.

I am reading... The Spear: A Novel of the Crucifixion with the kids for Lent -- 39 chapters -- almost perfect for a chapter a day from Ash Wednesday to Easter. We are all loving it! I am also reading One Thousand Gifts. This feels like a life-changing Lent for me.

Noticing that ... what the eyes see is better than what the desires wander after. (Ecclesiastes 6:9)

Around the house... Daddy!

(The Boy got the Old Maid!)

One of my favorite things... spending one-on-one time with one of my kids. Last Wednesday, after The Boy and The Baby went to bed, Miss Rose made cookies with Daddy, and I spent the evening giving Miss Sunshine a manicure and pedicure, playing cards and eating pizza rolls. Priceless.

Pondering these words ...

Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks.... The only way to be a woman of prayer is to be a woman of thanks.... Life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts)

A few plans for the rest of the week: The Boy will be celebrating his seventh birthday on Friday, and so ends the 2011 Birthday Season. (5 birthdays in 7 weeks at our house!)

For more daybooks, visit here. Happy Lent!

Gratitude

2011-03-21T15:51:00.001-05:00

Our family is now in a time of adjustment. Daddy has been so busy the last ... how many years? With graduate school, with new jobs, with dissertation writing. And now he is around again. In the evenings. On the weekends. And let me tell you, it is an adjustment. A happy adjustment, but an adjustment nonetheless. And we are all loving it. It feels like a honeymoon or a vacation. I had forgotten what "normal" family life was like.

Last Thursday, Daddy came home and said,
"It's beautiful out -- let's go for a walk."

And we could. without guilt.

And we did.

And then we went out for pizza.
On a regular Thursday night.

Unbelievable.

I had forgotten how good it feels to be spontaneous.
And free.

This Lent we have so much to be grateful for. And that is what we are focusing on. All of us. Being grateful. Together. For the large blessings and the small ones.

Thankful for nine years with Miss Sunshine,

who celebrated her birthday last Friday.

Thankful for her cheerful acceptance of our change of plans
because a blizzard made it impossible for us to leave home.

Thankful for the laughter generated daily
by Baby-isms like "bubbles" on pancakes.

Thankful for The Boy's LEGO creations.

(He was so excited about our field trip to UPS to mail Daddy's dissertation,
that he created a LEGO UPS store when we got home --
that's Daddy at the counter, handing the clerk his "big dissertation.")

Thankful for flour on a pan and an hour of busyness.

Thankful for the girls opportunity to perform
for the first time since we moved to North Dakota.

Thankful for the birds returning
and for the warm sun melting snow piles into puddles
that can be biked through.

Thankful for husband surprising me
with Starbucks and flowers
on tax preparation day.

Thankful taxes are done.
Thankful for a refund.

Thankful for colored pom-poms
flying through the air.
A new game.

Thankful for a birthday gift finished,
mailed, and delivered on time.

Thankful for brilliant sunsets and full moons rising.

Thankful for each other.

Thirty!

2011-03-18T10:33:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday to my little sister!
(Don't worry, I'll always be older!)

Top O' The Mornin' To Ya

2011-03-17T08:29:00.003-05:00

It appears some leprechauns got to our breakfast before we did!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Lent

2011-03-16T12:57:00.003-05:00

Crosses on our calendar.

Beans in our bowl.

Thorns in our crown.

Prayer. Sacrifice. Giving thanks.

Lent.

Lent - Part II

2011-03-10T08:50:00.006-06:00

"Have a joyful Lent."

"Have a good Lent."

Have a joyful Lent? Is Lent supposed to be good?

Why does something about this strike us as not quite right?

Why do we feel the need to say, "No, I want my Lent to be bad -- I want it to be hard"? Why do we think that penance has to hurt to be worthwhile? That if we're not unhappy or suffering, we're not doing something right?

This is how Father started his Ash Wednesday homily yesterday.

And his words fit perfectly with my resolutions this year. Confirmation. A small blessing. Gratitude filled my heart. Tears filled my eyes.

You see, Lent is not about doing deadly things, Father explained. It is about putting to death that within us which is deadly to us.

Prayer does this. Fasting does this. Works of charity do this.

And joy does this.

Joy puts to death that which is deadly within me.

Joy brings life.

Joy is born of gratitude. Of this, I am fully convinced.

I read this morning:

From all of our beginnings, we keep reliving the Garden story.

Satan, he wanted more. More power, more glory. Ultimately, in his essence, Satan is an ingrate. And he sinks his venom into the heart of Eden. Satan's sin becomes the first sin of all humanity: the sin of ingratitude. Adam and Eve are, simply, painfully, ungrateful for what God gave.

Isn't that the catalyst of all my sins?

Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.
(Ann Voskamp, one thousand gifts)

My resolution this Lent is to put to death that within me which is ungrateful. I resolved to pray in gratitude, to recognize the many blessings in my life throughout my days. To fast from whining and complaining and desiring that which has not been given to me. To teach my children gratitude. And so to bring joy to our home.

I will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving
and call on the name of the Lord.

Psalm 116:17

May you, too, have a JOYful Lent!

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T12:24:00.005-06:00

Lord, who throughout these forty days,
For us did fast and pray,
Teach us to overcome our sins,
And close by you to stay.

As you with Satan did contend,
And did the vict'ry win,
O give us strength in you to fight,
In you to conquer sin.

As you did hunger and did thirst,
So teach us, gracious Lord,
To die to self, and so to live
By your most holy word.

And through these days of penitence,
And through your Passiontide,
For evermore, in life and death,
O Lord! with us abide.

Abide with us, that through this life
Of doubts and hope and pain,
An Easter of unending joy
We may at last attain!
(Claudia F. Hernaman)

And so it begins ... our forty days.

Mardi Gras

2011-03-08T22:12:00.006-06:00

Tonight we ate,

we drank,

and we made merry.

(Daddy remarked that he hadn't used this side of his brain for quite a while.)

We sang, "Alleluia."

And then we put our alleluias away until Easter.

For tomorrow Lent begins.

Lent - Part I

2011-03-08T13:19:00.010-06:00

The first Lent with my current spiritual director, I went to him prior to Ash Wednesday with, what I thought were, my ducks all in a row: I'm going to pray like this and fast from that and give alms by ....

My ducks were shot down. every. single. one of them.

Father asked me, instead, how I planned to grow in virtue during Lent. How was I going to be converted during Lent so that Easter found me a new creation?

In the past I had given up something, or added something to my prayer routine, only to go back to life as usual on Easter Monday, thankful to eat chocolate whenever I wanted. But, really, the same me. I had never experienced deep conversion during Lent.

This morning I read the editorial in this month's Magnificat. Father Cameron wrote, "Lent is the season of conversion. But, more than just 'changed behavior,' conversion is really about being."

And I was reminded that all of my resolutions to pray more, give up something, do something extra, are really for naught, if I am not changed by them. They are really sideshows, in the words of my spiritual direction, without a main event.

That first Lent that I didn't give up a single thing, or pray a minute more, was hard for me. I am a do-er by temperament, not a be-er. But it was also the first Lent I experienced tremendous spiritual growth and conversion. With Father's help, I examined my struggles, my particular propensities for certain sins, and I chose the opposing virtue to concentrate on that Lent. And every Lent since.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there isn't a place for more prayer, more fasting, increased almsgiving, but, for me, adding a rosary or giving up coffee is easy. The hard work is growing in virtue, and adapting my Lenten practices to this end. Every year I struggle with feeling guilty for not having more Lenten resolutions. Each Lent, I have to be deliberate, asking myself, not what God wants me to do for Lent, but rather, who does God want me to be when Lent is over?

For in the depths of myself I am sure that I am meant to be more than I am. I have a potential that I have not yet realized. There is more to me than I know. When we listen to Jesus' words -- "I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly (Jn 10:10) -- we are certain Christ is speaking directly to us. We can feel the absence of the unlived aspects of ourselves. And that lack creates in us a longing. The response to it is called conversion.

This is why Blesses John Henry Newman stated that "conversion is nothing more than a deeper discovery of what we already truly desire." Conversion happens in us precisely at the level of desire. "Being converted," wrote Father Antonin Sertillanges, O.P., "is simply meeting yourself for the purpose of going to the very end of your being. Conversion means a willingness to see the truth of things and conform one's conduct to it."

When we don't see the truth of things, a kind of agitation takes over -- Saint Augustine's sense that out hearts are restless until they rest in God. The Venerable John Paul II once wrote that "the basic human drama is the failure to perceive the meaing of life, to live without a meaning." Lenten conversion addresses that critical omission in our life. The first words of Jesus in the Gospel of John are, "What are you looking for?" (Jn 1:38). What are we truly looking for in life? What are the desires that drive us? Are they really enough? Do they lead us to true satisfaction... or do they leave us wanting more? ...

As Pope Benedict XVI wrote, "Conversion is an act of obedience toward a reality which precedes me and which does not originate from me." Conversion, therefore, entails allowing ourselves to be drawn in by Christ so that we can become one with him in the way we think and feel and act and speak. As the Catechism puts it, "The human heart is converted by looking upon him who our sins have pierced" (1432).
Rev. Peter John Cameron, O.P.

And, that, is what we do during Lent.

May God bless you, dear reader, and may you become this Lent who He wants you to be.

Field Trip - Part II

2011-03-07T18:19:00.006-06:00

My DH and I just returned from our second trip to UPS today.

All four copies of the dissertation
are now bound (in two parts)
and in the mail.
(And, more significantly, off my husband's desk.)

One month until the April 8 defense date.

We stopped at Barnes and Noble to pick up something for hubby to read.
Something new.
Something different.
Something which has nothing to do with the Roman Canon or Scripture.
Something with a great title.

We also made one other stop before heading home to the kids.

I love you, dear husband, and I am so very proud of you!

Field Trip - Part I

2011-03-07T13:04:00.004-06:00

We went to UPS this morning for a little field trip.

Can you guess why?

And can you guess who enjoyed this little field trip the most?

Giveaway Link

2011-03-05T08:40:00.004-06:00

Wanna win this great basket of eco-friendly art supplies
from Stubby Pencil Studio?

I sure do.

For a chance, visit Ginny at Small Things.

Great Books

2011-03-04T20:38:00.003-06:00

These books

that The Baby

received for her birthday

are so great

even you will enjoy them (if you like art).

Check thou them out.

Delight

2011-03-03T19:47:00.007-06:00

I just spent a delightful winter evening with my three older children.

Daddy is at the library hard at work.

The Baby is in bed.

We made English muffin pizzas.

And then they pleaded (and pleaded and pleaded)
to read another chapter of Little Town on the Prairie.
(We already read one during school time today.)

And then another.

We were snuggled up on the couch for over an hour,
the kids crowding in to get a view of the pictures.

I love my life.

I love homeschooling.

Wordless Wednesday - Brightening My Table Right Now

2011-03-02T08:16:00.002-06:00

What Happened to February

2011-03-01T14:10:00.001-06:00

Is it really March 1st?

What happened to February?

-- 1 --

My DH and I went on a University-sponsored retreat of sorts. We stayed at a nice hotel and ate really good food (steak, shrimp, bison kebabs). And lots of it (maybe too much). And I didn't have to cook it. Or clean up from it. Or cut anyone else's food before enjoying it.

We celebrated Mass each day at St. Mary's of the Badlands, reportedly the oldest Catholic church still in use in the state of North Dakota. I got to see the park in the winter from the comfort of a coach bus. After dinner one night, a group of us took a walk in the gently falling snow. The air was warm. The snowballs were flying.

I was introduced to a master knitter, the wife of the University's CFO. We sat by the hotel's beautiful stone fireplace (a fire was actually lit when we were sitting there) and talked knitting. I learned of knitting groups in the Bismarck area. And she taught me how to change colors in the middle of my current project.

The theme of the retreat was: Servant Leaders of Moral Courage: Reflections on the Vocation of a University. More on that later.

-- 2 --

Right before leaving for said retreat, I received a Facebook friend request from my great-aunt's granddaughter, with whom I corresponded in junior high, when she was living in Germany. She is the daughter of my mom's cousin and we were pen pals for a short time, but I haven't ever met her and I hadn't heard from her in YEARS. She is now living in California, not far from my brother. This "meeting" led to the discovery of a host of other cousins I never even knew existed. Cousins living in Egypt and Japan. Cousins starring on Glee. Pregnant cousins. Cousins who like to crochet and cook. And together we've been working on filling in some of the leaves on my maternal grandmother's side of the family tree. And I've got the bug to create some family tree albums.

(My grandma is standing, third from the right. Aren't old pictures fabulous?)

-- 3 --

My dear, dear persevering husband has been working (and working and working) to finish his dissertation. It has to be in the hands of his board by next Tuesday, so Monday is the last possible day he can mail it (and that, overnight). His last "overnight" mailing didn't arrive the next day, so I think he's aiming for Friday or Saturday. We have seen very little of him the last two months -- a big reason why I have not been blogging. or knitting. or reading. I've been busy taking care of life. And drinking wine.

(a Christmas present from my Mom)

-- 4 --

In conjunction with finishing the dissertation, we went to Minnesota for a week, so hubby could use the University library to work on his bibliography and footnotes. We crammed in as much as we could before Minnesota got hit with another foot and a half of snow.

We spent an afternoon at my gramma's, and she surprised the kids with their favorite lunch and ice cream.

Our gracious hostess invited our former pastor and the brothers over for a fabulous lunch of linguine with a salmon cream sauce (I still need that recipe, Faith!) and chocolate cake. We are so grateful for her generous hospitality, and immensely enjoyed our time with her (short as it was in between running around to all of our other commitments).

(No, we are not crazy ... this picture was taken last July before we left ...
different weather, same people, same wonderful hostess!)

The girls and I got haircuts. I was able to attend an in-service retreat day for Archdiocesan staff. The kids went swimming and to the Children's Museum with my dad. The girls were able to get in some dance lessons and time with their friends, as well as attending a ceili. We spent a splendid evening sharing pizza and wine and catching up with dear, dear friends. We had brunch with my sister-in-law. And we made it home before it started snowing! Whew!

You know how traveling is ... time to pack, time away, time to unpack, time to adjust to a normal schedule ... it's good to be home.

-- 5 --

Finally, we celebrated three birthdays in February. On the 10th, we went to Space Aliens to celebrate my DH's birthday -- not because he loves Space Aliens, but because he loves that his kids love Space Aliens, and it was good family time. (By the way, Bismarck is home to the original Space Aliens!) (And they have really great barbeque.)

On the 26th, our oldest daughter turned 10! Ten! She is as horse-obsessed as ever, determined to one day own her own horses, or maybe even a ranch. She proclaimed this birthday "the best" -- I think because of her gifts -- real Western riding boots and a cowgirl hat.

She is determined in more ways than one, always trying her best and setting goals for herself, whether in dancing, or in her school work, or in trying to please her Momma. She reminds me a lot of myself, and I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming.

Two days later, my Baby turned 2! She is my joy and the light of my days.

Babies are truly one of God's great blessings.

Her favorite thing to do right now is to take care of her "babies" -- feeding them, changing them, ...

... and wheeling them around in the new cart she got for her birthday.

And that, my friends, is where February went.

Happy March!

Yarn Along

2011-02-09T22:28:00.003-06:00

I was hoping to post a recap of my weekend retreat, along with some clever reading and knitting updates, but I've run out of time, and I want to win the yarn Ginny is offering today for Yarn Along participants, so I have to settle for this boring picture taken quickly at my kitchen counter. I finished and started another dishcloth since last week, and I finished and started another Louis de Wohl novel, this time about Saint Helena and the Emperor Constantine. Good night, all!

On Sleep

2011-02-03T14:04:00.010-06:00

I don't know many moms who don't wish for more hours in the day. I have often wished I didn't need as much sleep as I apparently do. I know people who can go strong on four or five hours a night. I need eight to nine to function optimally. And, by "optimally," I mean with love and patience. When I don't sleep well, I inevitably take it out on the kids. And so, my DH, knowing this, has offered, probably since we started homeschooling, to be on "night duty." He is the one that (99% of the time) gets up at night for sickness, or nightmares, or falling out of bed. The kids know to call him and not me in the middle of the night. And, really, this is one of the reasons my husband is my hero. He rescues me from myself. He rescues the kids from the me. And all because of my need for sleep.

I still wish I had more hours in the day. I still wish I didn't need so much sleep. And I was reminded today, in reading a friend's blog post, that this is something I have struggled with since college. One day, I lamented this fact to a wise professor, who later that week gave me the following excerpt from God Speaks by Charles Peguy. And I remembered today that, really, I still lack trust. I fear idleness. I, perhaps, could be classified as a workaholic.

But I remembered. And that is grace. So let the hard work begin anew.

I will trust. And I will sleep.

I don’t like the man who doesn’t sleep, says God.
Sleep is the friend of man.
Sleep is the friend of God.
Sleep is perhaps the most beautiful thing I have created.
And I myself rested on the seventh day.
He whose heart is pure, sleeps. And he who sleeps has a pure heart.
That is the great secret of being as indefatigable as a child.
Of having that strength in the legs that a child has.
Those new legs, those new souls,
And to begin afresh every morning, ever new,
Like young hope, new hope.

But they tell me that there are men
Who work well and sleep badly.
Who don’t sleep. What a lack of confidence in me.
It is almost more serious than if they worked badly and slept well.
Than if they did not work but slept, because laziness
Is not a greater sin than unrest,
It is not even so great a sin as unrest
And despair and lack of confidence in me.
I am not talking, says God, about those men
Who don’t work and don’t sleep.
Those men are sinners, to be sure. They have what they deserve.
Great sinners. It’s their fault for not working.
I am talking about those who work and don’t sleep.
I pity them. I am talking about those who work and who, in this,
Obey my commandment, poor children.
And who on the other hand lack courage,
lack confidence, and don’t sleep.
I pity them. I have it against them. A little. They won’t trust me.
Like the child who innocently lies in his mother’s arms,
thus do they not lie
Innocently in the arms of my Providence.

They have the courage to work. They lack the courage to be idle.
They have enough virtue to work.
They haven’t enough virtue to be idle.
To stretch out. To rest. To sleep.
Poor people, they don’t know what is good.
They look after their business very well during the day.
But they haven’t enough confidence in me
to let me look after it during the night.
As if I wasn’t capable of looking after it during one night.
He who doesn’t sleep is unfaithful to Hope.
And it is the greatest infidelity.
Because it is infidelity to the greatest Faith.

Poor children,
they conduct their business with wisdom during the day.
But when evening comes, they can’t make up their minds,
They can’t be resigned to trust my wisdom for the space of one night
With the conduct and the governing of their business.
As if I wasn’t capable, if you please, of looking after it a little.
Of watching over it.
Of governing and conducting, and all that kind of stuff.
I have a great deal more business to look after, poor people,
I govern creation, maybe that is more difficult.
Your might perhaps, and no harm done,
leave your business in my hands,
O wise men.
Maybe I am just as wise as you are.
You might perhaps leave it to me for the space of a night.
While you are asleep
At last
And the next morning you might find it not too badly damaged perhaps.

The next morning it might not be any the worse perhaps.
I may yet be capable of attending to it a little.
I am talking of those who work
And who in this obey my commandment.
And don’t sleep, and who in this
Refuse all that is good in my creation,
Sleep, all the good I have created.
And also refuse my commandment just the same.
Poor children, what ingratitude towards me
To refuse such a good
Such a beautiful commandment.
Poor children, they follow human wisdom.
Human wisdom says Don’t put off until tomorrow
What can be done the very same day.
But I tell you that he who knows how to put off until tomorrow
Is the most agreeable to God.
He who sleeps like a child
Is also he who sleeps like my darling Hope.

And I tell you Put off until tomorrow
Those worries and those troubles which are gnawing at you today
And might very well devour you today.
Put off until tomorrow those sobs that choke you
When you see today’s unhappiness.
Those sobs which rise up and strangle you.
Put off until tomorrow
those tears which fill your eyes and your head,
Flooding you, rolling down your cheeks,
those tears which stream down your cheeks.
Because between now and tomorrow,
maybe I, God, will have passed by your way.
Human wisdom says:
Woe to the man who puts off what he has to do until tomorrow.
And I say Blessed,
blessed is the man who puts off what he has to do until tomorrow.
Blessed is he who puts off. That is to say Blessed is he who hopes. And who sleeps.

Weird ... or Not

2011-02-03T12:09:00.003-06:00

Miss Rose and Miss Sunshine have decided that I'm not so weird ...

... or maybe they just decided that being weird is fun. or warm.

"Pass the suntan lotion," I said,
as one girl made wave sounds
and the other imitated a seagull.

We giggled.

Yarn Along et al

2011-02-02T12:32:00.014-06:00

In an effort to prolong my son's life,
I am reading this again.

In an effort to prolong my son's life,
I am knitting.
a lot.

It calms me.

I finished another dishcloth,
but am now out of yarn.
Being a new knitter, I don't have a stash.

I want to make a hat.

I do have a stash of books, though.
What should I pick up next?

I am looking forward to going on retreat this weekend.
in beautiful Medora, North Dakota,
gateway to Theodore Roosevelt National Park.

with my husband.

without my children.

to recharge my batteries.

because I feel a lot like this lately.

The Boy
told me this morning he loves me more than Legos.
Wow! That's love.
That earned him some points with Mom.

and made me feel better.

Miss Rose and Miss Sunshine
cleaned my bathroom for me yesterday.
to surprise me.
They left me a note.

That's love, too.

and made me feel better.

The Baby's
new favorite thing to do when I'm cooking
is to set the table.
by herself.
on her own initiative.

Girls are so very different from boys.

Say "Cheeeeeese."

To see what others are knitting and reading,
visit Ginny at Small Things.

Stay warm,
if you live near me.

Stay in the house,
if you live somewhere that got dumped with snow.

Hug your kids,
if you've got some.

Live.

Laugh.

Love.

Six-Year-Old Boys

2011-02-01T19:20:00.002-06:00

What is a six-year-old boy's favorite line in this book?

Why, "U is for underwear down in the dryer," of course!

He loved this A, B, C rhyme so much, he's been singing it today.
over. and over. and over.
ad nauseum!

Looking Up

2011-01-26T13:54:00.002-06:00

Some of you have expressed concern, both here and on Facebook, over the malady that has of late afflicted me. In addition to cabin fever, I am definitely suffering from missing-my-husband-I-pray-I-never-have-to-be-a-single-parent syndrome. A date for my DH's dissertation defense has been set (April 8), which is great (awesome, wonderful, magnificent, amazing, excellent ... you get the picture). But that means I don't see him very much. at all. sometimes for days at a time. But the end is in sight. finally. (Keep up the prayers for both of us!)

And things are looking up this week. Here's why:

-- 1 --

Last Thursday, in an effort to end the day with four live children, and not end up in prison or institutionalized, I threw the school books out the window (not literally) and took the kids to the library for the morning, and then to a local hotel with an 150' water slide for the rest of the day. The results were just what I was hoping they would be: ~~four live children~~ four very physically tired, happy children.

-- 2 --

Friday evening, the kids watched movies with friends, while I attended a young adults night through our parish -- an inspiring talk and then plenty of time for drinking and talking. with adults.

-- 3--

This week the temperatures have been up (twenties and thirties!) and, thus, the children, including The Baby, have been outside, wearing themselves out, and giving me an afternoon break.

-- 4 --

When the sun does peep through a window, I lie on the floor and pretend I'm at the beach. (At which, Miss Rose proclaims, "Mom, you are WEIRD." Thank you very much.)

(Sorry, I can't take a picture of myself lying on the floor in the sun, but I like this picture.)

-- 5 --

My DH brought me a treat last night for with my afternoon coffee. I'm enjoying it right now. (Grace, I don't know how you do it!)

-- 6 --

My Baby is the light of my life and brings happiness everywhere she goes ... well, mostly ... except when she's dumping out bags of dry spaghetti all over the kitchen floor or hiding sippy cups of milk.

-- 7 --

We met some new homeschooling families and had a sledding party yesterday. Thanks, Jasmine!

-- 8 --

I taught myself purl from a video. Knitting is relaxing. (Thanks for the link to the dishcloth pattern, Sarah!) And I'm reading a great novel by a (new to me) Catholic author. (Check out some other knitting and reading at Ginny's.)

-- 9 --

I have great friends, both here and in real life, who, despite our physical distance, continue to inspire and support me. And I love Facebook.

-- 10 --

And, finally, I told a friend last night: God is asking us to do what we're supposed to do, when we're supposed to do it, with as much love as we can muster, and trust that He is faithful. Hey, that's good advice -- maybe I should listen to myself!

Wordless Wednesday - Finally Warm Enough for Baby

2011-01-26T10:10:00.002-06:00

Feast of St. Francis de Sales

2011-01-24T16:39:00.003-06:00

During the course of the day, recall as often as possible that you are in God's presence. Consider what God does and what you are doing. You will see His eyes turned toward you and constantly fixed on you with incomparable love. Then you will say to Him, "O God, why do I not look always at You, just as You always look at me? Why do You think so often of me, O Lord, and why do I think so seldom of You?" Where are we, O my soul? God is our true place, and where are we? (from St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life -- a must read, by the way)

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

2011-01-22T12:16:00.005-06:00

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, dear Grandma!
Happy birthday to you!

We love you and miss you
(and wish we were in Texas, too!)

Wordless Wednesday - Vaseline (aka hair gel) Meets Cornstarch

2011-01-19T18:38:00.002-06:00

(Hope this works!)

My Daybook - January 17, 2011

2011-01-17T10:04:00.015-06:00

Outside my windows... snow. and cold. and wind. and below zero temperatures. and white. and gray. and I wish I could go to the beach.

(my fence is buried in snow drifts, for crying out loud!)

I am listening to... Barlow Girl -- Enough and Porcelain Heart and Thoughts of You and Never Alone and I Need You to Love Me -- and finding the lyrics resonating in my heart.

I am thinking... about how difficult it will be to relearn how to type using only one space in between each sentence, now that I know that's the way I'm supposed to be doing it thanks to a friend's FB post.

I am thankful for... a furnace that is working -- we had a little scare of cold over the weekend, but it was soon fixed. Thank you, furnace repair guy.

I am hoping and praying... that a dear priest friend of ours has a good retreat this week.

From the kitchen... one of our family dinner favorites -- I call it "chunky salad" because there's almost as much of everything else as there is lettuce!

From the schoolroom... we starting The Long Winter today. How appropriate.

I am creating... a scarf?

I am reading... Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance and Citadel of God: A Novel about Saint Benedict.

Noticing that... it is only supposed to get colder.

Remembering... two friends' birthdays (Wednesday and Friday), a brother-in-law's birthday (Thursday), a goddaughter's birthday (Friday), and a mother-in-law's birthday (Saturday). Happy birthday, Tom, Anne, Nick, Teresa, and Joanne!

Around the house... I miss the cozy warm glow of our Christmas tree and am feeling the need to put lights on something ... maybe the ficus?

One of my favorite things... Pepperidge Farm Pirouette cookies, especially the hazelnut and mint flavors.

Pondering these words... "Spirituality is what we do with our desires."

A few plans for the rest of the week: Stay warm (that means in the house).

A picture-thought I am sharing: It will warm up again. It will warm up. It will.

For more daybooks, visit here.

Accessorizing

2011-01-16T16:46:00.004-06:00

My Baby

loves

to accessorize,

especially

when the accessories

belong to

bigger

people.

I have a bad case of ...

2011-01-15T14:44:00.005-06:00

... cabin fever.

Definition: irritability, listlessness, and similar symptoms resulting from long confinement or isolation indoors during the winter.

Miss Sunshine painted me this picture to make me feel better.

I don't know if a picture will suffice.

Have you heard ...

2011-01-14T10:31:00.005-06:00

... the happy news?

Our beloved John Paul II

is to be beatified on May 1,

Divine Mercy Sunday!

On Resolutions

2011-01-13T13:14:00.002-06:00

Regarding New Year’s resolutions, if you’re anything like me, you either (A) didn’t have time enough to reflect on life and come up with any, or (B) did have time and came up with some, but have already given up on them, because they were just too big and you already feel you “failed.” This was an (A) year for me. I’ve had (B) years, too.

The thing is, January 1 is not the only day of the year we can make resolutions. For a resolution is merely a firm decision to do or not to do something. In fact, St. Francis de Sales, among other great spiritual writers in our tradition, encourages us to make resolutions daily, at the end of our time of prayer and meditation. Our reflections on Scripture and the mysteries of our faith should lead to “special and particular resolutions for [our] own correction and improvement.” We should conclude our time of prayer asking, “Lord, what do you want of me today? What can I do or not do to grow in holiness today? How can I love more today? What can I sacrifice for others today? How can I say yes to You today?"

And, St. Francis continues, “After you rise from meditation you must remember the resolutions and decisions you have made and carefully put them into effect on that very day.” I find a concrete daily resolution much more helpful in my daily pursuit of holiness because, really, our lives are about conversion. And conversion isn’t a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence; it is a process. Because “Christian perfection has but one limit, that of having none” (St. Gregory of Nyssa).

Wordless Wednesday - Wishful Thinking

2011-01-12T15:54:00.003-06:00

(It's warmed up to six below zero, nineteen below if you factor in the wind!
I sure could use a warm, sunny beach right about now.)

Ordinary Time

2011-01-10T08:07:00.002-06:00

Our Lord is calling us to sanctify the ordinary tasks of every day, for the perfection of the Christian is to be found precisely there. Let's consider it once more as we contemplate Mary's life.

We can't forget that Mary spent nearly every day of her life just like millions of other women who look after their family, bring up their children and take care of the house. Mary sanctifies the ordinary everyday things — what some people wrongly regard as unimportant and insignificant: everyday work, looking after those closest to you, visits to friends and relatives. What a blessed ordinariness, that can be so full of love of God!

For that's what explains Mary's life — her love. A complete love, so complete that she forgets herself and is happy just to be there where God wants her, fulfilling with care what God wants her to do. That is why even her slightest action is never routine or vain but, rather, full of meaning. Mary, our mother, is for us both an example and a way. We have to try to be like her, in the ordinary circumstances in which God wants us to live.

If we act in this way, we give those around us the example of a simple and normal life which is consistent, even though it has all the limitations and defects which are part and parcel of the human condition. And when they see that we live the same life as they do, they will ask us: Why are you so happy? How do you manage to overcome selfishness and comfort-seeking? Who has taught you to understand others, to live well and to spend yourself in the service of others? Then we must disclose to them the divine secret of Christian existence. We must speak to them about God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, Mary. The time has come for us to use our poor words to communicate the depth of God's love which grace has poured into our souls. -- St. Josemaria Escriva

And so begins Ordinary Time.

Help

2011-01-06T12:14:00.003-06:00

Any advice

on mothering a second daughter,
who is constantly comparing herself
to her firstborn older sister
(older by only a year and two weeks)
and coming up short?

The Twelfth Day of Christmas

2011-01-05T23:38:00.000-06:00

It's the twelfth day of Christmas, and at our house it still looks, sounds, tastes, and feels like it. The tree is still up. The Christmas music is still playing. Carols are being sung. Cookies are being eaten. And there was still one package under the tree this morning.

Here's a summary of our Christmas festivities since last I posted about them:

On the fifth day of Christmas, we had plans to go into town for coffee and conversation for the mommies and playtime for the kids. Since we were going to be running errands anyway, I had the kids open their fifth gift before we left for town -- gift cards to Hobby Lobby. They each had various arts and crafts supplies on their Christmas wish lists and, rather than picking things out myself, I thought they'd have fun doing it. And they did. We came home with paint and sequins, felt and sewing kits, beads and buttons. And they spent the remainder of the afternoon, and much of the remainder of the week, crafting away.

(a little pouch The Boy made)

Each year, each child receives a new ornament for the tree. This was a tradition I grew up with. When I married and left home, I had at least seventy ornaments for our first Christmas tree -- I had received at least an ornament from my parents and grandparents every year since I was born. Each year, my mom carefully labeled the ornaments I had received and packed them away in their original boxes. I know where each and every ornament I own came from and the year I received it. It is such a joy every year to pull them out and remember. I have done the same for my children. The problem now is we have way too many ornaments for one tree. The children's ornaments fill the tree, and mine remain in storage -- I suppose until the children move on and out and take their ornaments with them.

I put much thought into the ornaments every year, trying to choose one that fits each child's personality, or that will remind him or her of a new love or a big accomplishment or a trip we took. This year I wanted something to remind them each of our big move to North Dakota, but I had trouble finding North Dakota ornaments I liked. So ... I found this great website and had an ornament made for each child with a photo of a 2010 North Dakota moment. The three older children's ornaments had pictures from a hike we took in Theodore Roosevelt National Park over Labor Day weekend. The Baby's ornament had a picture I took of her in our backyard. And my DH got me an ornament from the University of Mary bookstore!

The seventh day of Christmas was New Year's Eve. We spent a very nice New Year's Eve and Day at home. We celebrated New Year's Eve by having pomegranate martinis (senza the vodka for the kiddos) and appetizers all evening, while playing a fun new board game (the gift for the day) and watching a great movie (it's a little scary for younger ones, but has a great Gospel message).

New Year's Day the kids opened one of their favorite gifts -- Season 6 of the Little House on the Prairie series and ...

(The Boy's costume is still in the works.)

(If you're looking for a great one-of-a-kind period costume, I'd highly recommend Susan.)

Sunday, the kids opened a box of new books -- a new Bible for each of the girls (they have been frustrated with their inability to look up chapter and verse in the any of the various children's Bibles we own) and a book on their respective patron saint for The Boy and The Baby. Also included were a great series of saints books, a book on praying in the presence of Our Lord, and a Magnificat subscription.

We did go back to school on Monday, only because I know, come spring, I'll want to be done with our work as soon as possible and outside in the warm air. Plus, we'll likely be moving (yet again!) in the spring. (Hopefully, this time, we'll be able to stay put for a while.)

Every year the kids also get a magazine subscription. Miss Rose chose Young Rider and Blaze again this year (surprise, surprise). Miss Sunshine chose Faces (which did surprise me). And I chose Ask for The Boy (after several years of Highlights) and Babybug for The Baby.

Yesterday, my young food lovers opened new aprons (thank you, Janet -- they're perfect) and three new cookbooks.

They spent part of the afternoon planning the first meal they want to prepare together on Sunday, for when Daddy returns from his week-long trip to Milwaukee.

The Baby got a food-related gift, too. (This is an awesome toy, by the way!)

Finally, today, they opened another new board game, which we had fun playing together after recess.

During supper, we received a call from a friend to come over so the kids could snowmobile and watch a movie, and I could have some much needed adult time and a glass of wine (which is why this post is so late being posted!). I'm so glad we homeschool and can take advantage of nights like this. Thanks, Trina, for a lovely evening, and a much-needed break. Four days 'til my hubby returns!

From our house to yours, a very Merry Christmas!